Uncle Ahma’s New Sports-Car

What would we do without crazy dictators?  Probably most of the same stuff we do now.  But, while we’re on the subject, it appears that one of our favorites, Iran’s very own Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has decided to build himself a new garage–probably to house his collection of vintage, anti-zionist sports-cars.  The New York Times is reporting that Iran will begin enriching its stockpiles of uranium as early as Tuesday.  Officials from Iran claim that the enriched uranium will be used to power a medical reactor.  Political leaders across the western front, ever skeptical of Iran’s benevolent intentions, are calling for “serious measures”.

The concern is not so much that nuclear power is a bad thing, nor that any nation should be arbitrarily denied access to modern energy, but rather–and this can be downright difficult for many to grasp–that lunatic xenophobes, such as our dear Uncle Ahma, might use weapons of mass destruction to … well … destroy in mass.  You see, like many uncles, Ahma’s mouth sometimes runs away with him.  Why, a couple Thanksgivings back, he went on his “world without zionism” rant and made the comment that “Israel must be wiped off the map” (or “vanish from the pages of time” depending on which translation you prefer).  Grandma wasn’t too pleased.  Then there’s the tyrannical subjection of his own people that has us all a little weirded out.  It can be hard to make friends with the free world when you’re opposed to … ya’know … freedom.  And of course we can’t forget his financing global thugs like Hamas and Hezbollah, just to name a few.

So, it makes sense why some might be just a little bit worried about Iran’s nuclear ambitions.  But, of course, its probably not a big deal after all.  Uncle Ahma’s probably just talking big so that he can impress his buddies at the Dictator’s Country Club.  I mean, sure they might butcher their own people and fund international terrorists, but we all know that these guys never actually DO anything worth worrying about … right?  I mean, its Uncle Ahma.  What’s not to love?